Beginning to See
by Castelsolo
Summary: Kiaran cotinues to have trouble even after she joins the enemy.It's part two for A New Beginning.


**Beginning to See**

What was once so simple became all the more complicated. As I looked down upon Anakin I thought back to when I was five, when we loved each other.

**Anakin looked down at her as he held her close. He was seven, and even though he was so young he knew that he would love her for the rest of his life. The girl looked up at him and gazed into his eyes.**

"**I will always love you Kiaran," Anakin said.**

"**I know you will," she replied. Then the couple kissed, not like a simple "little-kid" kiss, but a passionate kiss that expressed all their feelings.**

Kiaran is me. You would remember if you read the first memoir book. The only difference is that this story is about when I was 13 and Anakin was 15.

Right below me Anakin was practicing his force techniques. He did not know that I was above him because I had shielded my self from the force. As I knelt above him I heard him speaking of me.

"I wish that Kiaran hadn't left" he said.

"Pardon?" Master Obi-Wan Kenobi asked as he walked in.

"Do you know what happened to Kiaran?"

"You miss her don't you?"

"She would have made a promising Jedi." **Yeah,** I thought**, promising to destroy the Jedi** Then I snuck out of the Jedi School through the window. I quickly climbed down the wall as I sent a mental message to Count Dooku. It was **the young Jedi believes me to be gone forever as do all the others.**When I reached the ground I ran towards my hide away. Before reaching it I ran into (literally) Chancellor Palpatine.

"What's the rush?" he asked in his soothing (not) voice.

"Um… I, uh… have to…get…something," I replied.

"How about helping me deliver something first?" Well, I couldn't say no to the Chancellor.

"L-like what," I skeptically asked. As we talked I kept looking around for anyone who would recognize me.

"What are you looking for?" Palpatine asked.

"No-nothing. Wh-what do you want me to do?"

"I need you to deliver this data card to Senator Amedala (you didn't know, but she was the Queen of Naboo in the time of my last story). Then he gave me a data card and sent me on my way. The data card was just boring stuff about Naboo's supplies. I gave the senator the card and _finally_ got to my hide away. I pulled out my computer and read Count Dooku's message.

"I have learned that two Jedi are going to Bothawui," it read. "I don't know exactly why they are going, but I'm sending you to find out. You will follow the Jedi to find out what they are doing on Bothawui." **On the hunt again **I thought,** too much to do in too little time.** I packed up my things, which now consist of a short (and I mean short) dress, a com-link, a data pad, my chorah, a small knife, and a headband (the kind that goes around your head, not the kind that pulls your hair back.) Then I snuck into the Jedi's shuttle bay. Once there, I sat and waited for the Jedi to come.

About an hour later, they came. It turned out that the Jedi were Obi-Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker. I jumped on top of a jet and hid myself in the force. After they passed, I followed them to and on the shuttle. The shuttle lifted off and I fled to a place in the engine room where I could hide myself. I entered a Jedi trance to center myself for this mission.

An hour after that we landed on Bothawui. I waited till I thought it was safe to leave and I got off. I spotted Anakin not far off and I walked into a store near him. Then I uncloaked myself in the force and walked out.

"ANAKIN!" I yelled at him. "Small world, what are you doing here?"

"Oh my God!" he said as he ran to me. "I thought I would never see you again. Oh Kiaran, I just, oh God, I can't believe you, and you're here, now, when I'm here! It's just, just, I don't know!"

"So what are you doing here?"

"There is a confli-"

"Excuse me _Anakin_," Obi-Wan cut in. "Sorry, but we're not allowed to say."

"Oh, I understand. But maybe I can help you do whatever you need to do."

"Yeah!" Anakin said. "She can help us."

"I believe that the council made it clear when they said that _no one _is to know about this mission," Obi-Wan replied.

"But she can help and you know that I have always talked about how good she was at finding people on Tatooine. Please."

"Oh, I hate it when you whine. Tell her _only _when we reach the apartment. You never know who is listening."

"What building is your apartment in?" I asked. "I can lead you to it." They told me the name of the apartment and we left towards it. As we reached there, Anakin got the key out. We reached the number of their hotel room and went inside.

"Okay, so, why are you here?"

"There is a conflict between the Bothan city dwellers and the wild plain Bothans. The Bothan city dwellers believe that the wild plain Bothans are trying to steal part of the city and shove them off planet. The wild plain Bothans believe that the Bothan city dwellers are trying to kill them off. Therefor they both want to join opposite sides, the city folks to the Republic and the plain folk to the Separatists, and the whole planet is in a mess because of the problem. It's really crazy."

"And you have to-?" 

"Go to the plains and solve the problem," he replied.

"The people have to meet and agree not to join the Separatists," Obi-Wan continued.

"You must be tired from your long journey here. Lie down and get some sleep." The Jedi went to bed and I got out my com-link. When the Jedi were asleep I sent a message (coded of course) to Count Dooku. It read-

**The Jedi are trying to stop the Bothans from separating and the plain dwellers joining the Separatists, namely our side. I will do whatever is in my power to stop them from convincing the plain Bothans to join the Republic. Wish me luck.**

The return message was-

**You will, I repeat, will stop the Jedi. If you do not stop their attempts to make the Bothans join the Republic than you better go into hiding.**

Reply- 

**I have nothing to fear from you for I cannot die. I will do my best and nothing more.**

Reply to me- 

**Just stop them.**

I waited for the Jedi to awaken before I told them of an animal that could get us out towards the plains.

"They're called Analons. They are big plant eaters and will allow people to ride them. They will be fast enough to get us to the plains within a day or two. That will give us plenty of time to convince the Bothans to join together and join the Republic."

"Do you know how to ride them?" Anakin asked.

"You lean forward on its back so when it starts moving you are in an upright position because the Analon walks on two legs, not four. It's really quite simple to ride them. The only problem is that there is a river between here and the Bothans on the plains. You'll get wet so bring a change of clothes or two. Also you'll need food unless you want to catch you're food, which will not be easy. So you need food, clothes, weapons, and any other item that you wish to keep because there are thieves in the city. And watch your back for spies, there are a lot of those here."

"Thanks for the warning," Anakin said.

"Welcome. So Homatas, ("brothers" if you remember) when do you wish to leave?"

"Today, if possible."

"I can have the Analons by lunch so we can leave after eating. Is that alright?"

"Yes, yes," Obi-Wan said waving me away. I went outside and ran all the way to the stables. I asked for the Analons to be delivered at lunch and went to the street corner (I made myself look human with my shape shifting) to do a dance routine. I pulled on my needed items, some thing like tap dancing shoes and gloves with metal on the palms. I went to the corner and started the routine. In many wild movements, which included dancing on my hands, I tapped out the tune to I Don't Wanna Be. The movements turned out to be a dance routine that caught many people's eye as they listened to the song. Two of the people were the Jedi I traveled with.

After the routine Anakin and Obi-Wan came up to me, not knowing it was me, and said-

"That was simply wonderful. Do you do this often?" In a British accent I replied-

"Yes, but this is my last day on Bothawui."

"Oh…well…you dance marvelously."

"Thank you very much, sirs. Now I must leave. Goodbye." I moved on and pretended to go. I rounded a corner, became myself, and walked back to the Jedi.

"The Analons will be delivered to your apartment soon, after lunch. Let's eat somewhere. How about that cool Twileke restaurant not far down the block." They shrugged and we ate.

After eating and getting the Jedi's supplies, the Analons, and my sack, we left to the plains. In half a day we reached the river. It was high tide and the water reached the Analon's neck and our legs, thighs, and hips were soaked as we crossed. In the middle of the stream a large fish creature jumped out of the water and grabbed Anakin. He was quickly carried away down stream by the creature. I jumped off of the Analon and raced towards Anakin. As I reached him, he was being pulled underwater into a cave. I grabbed his arms and tried to swim in the opposite direction of the creature, which I now realize was a Zongla. Slowly I gained an edge over it and pulled Anakin's head above the water. He gulped in the air and tried to kick free of the Zongla. Finally, I pulled him away from the Zongla and back towards the Analons. We climbed back onto our mounts and got out of the river. Anakin and I changed into dry clothes. As we sat I thought back to a time similar to this.

**Anakin and Kiaran were walking at the top of a cliff. **

"**It would be terrible to fall down there," Anakin said.**

"**I know," Kiaran answered. She looked down the cliff side. "I'd hate to do this alone. It would be dangerous." She looked up at Anakin. Just then a bird flies by and knocks Anakin off of the cliff. Kiaran jumps down and grabs Anakin's hand.**

"**Hang on," she cried to him. Then she slowly pulls him back up onto the cliff's top.**

"**Thanks," Anakin pants.**

I know it was shorter, but I still saved his life then, just like today. I look at Anakin. Then I turned away, sheepish. I guess I still love him. **But I can't love him,** I thought.** I would never be able to love him and still work for the Separatists. I, I just can't love him. **I had to get the mission over with quickly. We all got back onto our Analons and continued to ride towards the wild plain Bothans. That night, while the Jedi were asleep, I sent Damia a message (she is my best friend on Coroscant that knows about Anakin and me).

**Damia,**

**I am busy but had to write to you. As you know I am working with Dooku now. Also I have left Anakin, but I'm with him now on a spy mission for Dooku. I am having problems in the fact that I am falling in love with him again. What am I to do?**

**Signed,**

**Kiaran.**

After that I took a nap till sunrise. Then I woke the Jedi and told them,

"We must continue. The Bothans on the plains will be coming soon." So we got our stuff and rode onward. Around the afternoon we spotted the Bothans. "There," I said. "Just over that hill." As we rode over the hill, the first three Bothans rode our way.

"What are you doing on our land," the lead Bothan asked.

"We are here to speak to the Pack Leader," I replied.

"No one sees the Pack Leader without a test."

"What is the test?"

"You must do whatever we require of you. You will do it this night. Take them to the jail tent." At the second one's grunt we got off of the Analons. Then we were taken to a tent.

"When will we learn what we are to do?" I asked.

"Tonight," was his reply.

As the Jedi waited for our fate I sent Dooku a message. I was-

**Things look promising. The Pack Leader won't even talk to the Jedi without a test. I feel that I can convince him to ignore what they say as fools talk.**

Then I read my reply from Damia.

**Kiaran,**

**As you know you cannot work with the Separatists and love Anakin. He wouldn't understand why you joined them. Also, you know that he loves Padme. Why are you with him on Bothawui? What is your spy mission? I wish you the best of luck with your life.**

**Truly Yours,**

**Damia.**

I replied with the short message-

**Yes I know he loves Padme. I am with him b/c I am trying to sabotage his mission here. I am trying to convince the Bothans to join the Separatists.**

**Bye,**

**Kiaran.**

Then I saw the sun was going down. A Bothan was coming into the tent.

"It is time. You," he points to Anakin. "You will sing." He points to Obi-Wan. "You will do magic." Then he points to me. "And you will dance." I gulped. That was one thing I didn't want to do. We were led down to a platform covered in sand. There were torches around the area. "Boy first." Anakin stepped up to the platform. Then he looked around. He closed his eyes, and then he sung a song that he use to sing to me. It went-

For every time I look into your eyes I sense the perfection there. For every baby that loudly cries I run my fingers through your hair. For every lovely kiss you give I see the sadness that you own. For every time I help you live you're happy and you never moan.

It as a short song but I enjoyed hearing it. As Anakin returned to us Obi-Wan said,

"I didn't know you could sing." Then he was shoved forward. He started simple by picking up sand and letting it fall. Then he made it fall up. Next he made it spiral around him. Finally he let it all drop. Short as well, but fun to watch. Then it was my turn. I stepped up to the platform. To start I stood on my hands. Then I placed my hands one before the other. As if on my feet, I danced on my hands. Around the middle I nearly lost my balance, but Anakin used the force to help balance me. I continued to dance and finally pushed myself upward and flipped so I landed on my feet. Then, as an end to my program, I jumped into the air and did a double somersault. When I landed I heard my com-link beep. I had left it by Anakin. He picked it up to see who had sent the message. Then he furrowed his brows in confusion. **Uh oh**, I thought. **It must be from Dooku.**

"Kiaran," Anakin said. "Come here." I went to him. "Tell me, why you would be receiving a message from Count Dooku which reads, "make sure the Jedi do not convince the Bothans to join the Republic."

"Why in the world would I have a message like that?" I asked Anakin.

"That is what you are suppose to tell me."

"I don't even know a Count Dooku."

"Then why are you receiving a message from him?"

"I don't know. He must have sent it to the wrong person."

"Then you don't mind if I delete it?"

"Go ahead."

"Now tell me where all these other messages from Count Dooku came from."

"Uh…" I realized that I was busted.

"You were trying to sabotage our mission, weren't you Kiaran."

"I uh…"

"You used me Kiaran, just to get to the Pack Leader." Then he smashed the com-link.

"I can explain, Anakin."

"Not good enough Kiaran. This time you've gone too far. I trusted you and you tried to betray the Republic." I was angry then.

"What about you? You left me to start with. If you hadn't wanted to be a Jedi none of this would have happened. I tried to reason with you but no. You had to go to the academy and become a Jedi. You left me with nothing. By doing that you betrayed me, betrayed all that we had, and betrayed my love for you. I tried to live without you, but I had to do something. Finally I joined the Separatists so that you could see what you had done by leaving me. Someday you will join the dark side and then I'm going to be your master. You will listen to me then and never leave me. I will control you Anakin. One day, I will control you." Then I rushed to the Pack Leader's tent. I told him that the Jedi were trying to kill him and that he should join the Separatists if he wanted to live. He listened to me silently and then said he would think about what I had said. Then I asked him if I could have the Analons back. He said that I could. I took the Analons and my bag of stuff and rode back to the town. After crossing the river and entering the town I asked to see the Bothawui leader. I was taken there and I said to him-

"You should join the Separatists. The Republic is sending Jedi here to kill you. If you stay in the Republic than you will surly die. Listen to what I say."

" How do you know of the Jedi on this planet?" the leader asked.

"I heard them plotting to kill you."

"I do not believe you. The Jedi are not warriors. They are peacemakers. They wish for the wild plain Bothans and us to live together in peace." Then his com-link beeped. "Is your name Kiaran?" I nodded. "Then this message is for you." I looked at the message. It read-

**Your plan to sabotage our mission was unsuccessful. The Pack Leader has joined the Republic. You will not be able to turn the leader of the Bothan city dwellers either.**

**Anakin.**

I replied with the message-

**How did you know where I was?**

Answer-

**I used common sense to know that you'd want to turn the leader of the city dwellers to the Separatists as well.**

Reply-

**I hate you Anakin. Now I'm beginning to see why I really left you.**

Then I threw the com-link down and left with my items. I exited the building and mentally told Dooku that the mission was unsuccessful. Then I left the planet and returned to Coroscant. Yes, I was beginning to see. Beginning to see how I would get my revenge on Anakin and the vile Jedi.

Don't miss the next book, From Light to Dark.


End file.
